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In case you were wondering…

My favorite 8 year old, Griffin

You don’t look good in yellow.  You have peach fuzz on your upper lip.  And “dude,” your husband has a weight problem.  In case you were wondering (and even if you weren’t), your eight year old will tell you.  They will tell you the ugly, unmitigated truth without a trace of malice.  They are not 16 year olds after all.  There is no intent to hurt or instill self-doubt so great you rethink the Friday night party at the house with the kegerator, open bar and notably absent parental figures.  It’s just an observation intended to help you make good choices moving forward. Like eliminating anything vaguely yolk-hued from your closet and finally answering in the affirmative to the biweekly inquiry, “You want me do lip?”

Four year olds will tell you the truth too.  But you can’t trust a four year old.  They have multiple personality disorder.  You never know if you’re getting feedback from your actual child, Marcy-the-My-Brother-Switched-Spongebob-and-Deserves-to-Die or Patty-the-Please-Don’t-Let-Daddy-Put-Me-to-Bed-Because-He-Never-Turns-on-the-Nightlight-and-Always-Forgets-the-Sleepytime-CD.  Bottom line, those little creatures are tricky, so it’s best to let compliments and criticism roll off your back.  The story will change tomorrow anyway.

But if you really want to know whether you’re too white to wear the strappy sundress, too old to go to with the chunky blond highlights, or too wrinkled for this season’s metallic, shimmer eye shadow, don’t ask your husband.  Brace yourself for impact…and ask the eight year old.



4 Responses

  1. You guys are so awesome.so much better than the pen and journal that I only managed to do for my last child(By that time I finally had some brains and realized the importance of what was going on in my childrens life.Sorry to the first 2 oldest but wisdom comes when wisdom comes you cannnot summon wisdom.

  2. How did you get your page to look so awesome?! And the part about the lip wax is cracking me up, lol!

  3. Mom is cracking me up about the wisdom. I’m trying to humbly listen to all the wisdom of the mothers who come before me (at least the ones I care about) and follow orders. Thus, journal writing has begun, I use cloth diapers as burp cloths and I don’t intervene when my husband palms the baby like a basketball and flings him over his shoulder.

    • Oh, we’ve all got advice. Some of it might actually be pretty good. But of course, Mom is right…real wisdom comes when you think you’re all out of ideas and at the end of your rope. Re-reading my notes about Addison’s little shirt incident last year, along with your most recent post, made me realize just how many times I thought I’d have the answer before I had kids and how many times since I realize I just don’t. Or that maybe there isn’t any “right” answer, only my instincts. What a crapshoot, huh?

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